Your Natural Sexiness

The secret to a new and improved sex life – believe it or not, is within you! And while we all know being sexy does have some external factors involved – namely your appearance – tapping into your natural sexiness requires a good look inside at the more mindful elements like self-confidence, personal power and just plain, knowing yourself – qualities you might not have considered to have anything to do with being sexy.

Consider that men and women alike consistently rate confidence as the biggest indicator of sexiness. Not a D-cup or six-pack abs, but a self-assured nature. A smile. Eye contact. The behaviors of those who feel comfortable and confident are naturally appealing. In other words, what you feel internally affects how you’re perceived externally. Hence, feeling sexy makes you sexy, as well as encouraging you to have more sex – either because you pursue it more readily or because more people (or your partner) pursue you!

Plus the best part is, if tapping into your internal appeal seems like a stretch on any given day, or in general (you’ve got a busy life after all!), there are a few external tricks guaranteed to help your shine! So, how do you tap into your natural sex appeal? As with most questions, the answer depends on who asks it. Here are a few universal ways to do it – starting inside and out!

Remember when…
First, take a moment to think back. When was the last time you felt really sexy? Like super hot as in I can take over the world… or at least a lover! Was it after a great workout, during a night on the town or in your PJ’s after a long, hot bath? The answer’s not important, what is vital is that you remember it. Experience what it felt like – from your head to your toes. Relish that. And work on the ability to recreate it. Why? Because sense-memory goes a long way.

The point of this exercise is to have a fantasy place. In times when you’d like to give off that just got it glow, you’ll be able to go there – on your own or with an amour. And shy types, don’t worry! You don’t even need to share what’s on your mind. Sometimes, just thinking about sex can make you feel sexy. (And note: sexy and horny are not the same thing… though one can lead to the other!)

Be scent-sational!
Sexual attraction is based largely on pheromones. And pheromones are sensed largely through scent. Think about it. When with a lover to whom we’re well-matched, their scent (natural, sprayed or dabbed on) will drive us wild. As such, one quick, easy way to make yourself feel like a mate-magnet is to spritz on a scent that you love. It shouldn’t just be any scent however (perfumes and colognes smell different on different people). It should be your signature scent. The one that every time you get a whiff, makes you feel magnetic. Finding yourself a signature scent may be a bit more time consuming than just dabbing it on, but the initial investment will pay off dividends – in what you give off and in how you feel doing it!

Only you
If you’re like most of us, you may let yourself fall by the wayside in favor of catering to your job, your family and your friends (sometimes all three)! In this scenario, your needs go out the window and poof – there goes your sex appeal (along with your libido). And it’s no wonder! Feeling desire requires actually feeling satisfaction in other areas of your life. If you’re ultimately dissatisfied, the outside world can sense it (read: you don’t exude sexy) and your libido goes into hibernation. However, if you take a little time for yourself on a regular basis – for yoga, for meditation, for cooking a great meal, for a night out dancing, for pampering yourself or for whatever turns you on (see aforementioned for an example of the last time you felt sexy), you’ll find yourself feeling happier and sexier.

Say cheese
Lastly, if you’re looking for a quick fix – and one that will take hold, contributing to an overall sexier feeling – adopt the behaviors of the confident. Even if you’re not quite there yet. Stand up straight. Meet people’s eyes when you’re talking to them. Smile – even if you’ve just eaten poppy seeds. If you’ve got some in your teeth, so what? You’re human after all. Laugh it off, excuse yourself and come right back with your best and brightest.

Remember, if your best and brightest doesn’t meet some external definition of beauty, so what! Because sexy is not perfection. Sexy is a state of mind.