Your Soulmate Solution

Even though most people know in their hearts that you can’t hurry love, there are times when it seems like every other caller, can’t wait to push someone they’ve just met into falling for them. The problem more often than not, tells Ivy, is that this strategy backfires. The person they’re crazy about, ends up feeling disrespected and moves on.

Without Ivy’s intervention this would have been Charlotte’s (not her real name) fate. She called the Empath, distraught and in tears, wondering if she had kissed Sam (not his real name) for the very last time.

“Will Sam come back,” Charlotte shrieked, saying she had to know, yet didn’t want to know Ivy’s answer. “He just stopped calling. I saw him yesterday with a group of friends and he ignored me.”

Ivy began the reading. “I’m saying this without judgment or criticism. I’m connecting with Sam as an Empath,” Ivy said as she delved deeply into Charlotte’s question, looking for the reason behind his abrupt behavior. “He needs space. He asked you for space several times. He’s almost begged for it.”

“Yeah, he asked, but we’re a couple… ” she answered dismissively. “Did he leave me to date someone else? I’m sure he met someone else, otherwise, why would he take off, right before he promised to meet my parents?”

“It’s not necessarily about someone else… You wouldn’t listen to him,” Ivy continued in her straightforward manner. “He felt pushed and pressured, so he backed away. He asked you for time out, and you keep calling him.”

“I’m just texting. I want answers,” Charlotte said angrily and then began to cry again.

“Give him two weeks without attempting to contact Sam in any way, even just to check in — he’ll call.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Ivy answered staunchly.

But, Ivy tells, Charlotte kept breaking her promises to herself not to contact Sam. “Until the universe feels you’re ready, you won’t be back together,” Ivy insisted call after call. “When he does contact you, don’t expect your relationship to move forward overnight. Become friends first. Find out who you are with him. See if you can love Sam, knowing his true needs.”

“Months went by,” Ivy tells, “and there were times when I wanted to tell Charlotte to just give up, because she kept hounding Sam passively with cute chain email, but I continued to see happily-ever-after for them as a couple, if she would just respect his wishes.”

Finally, Charlotte left Sam alone while she was away on a business trip. She was too busy to continue her obsession and had actually begun to give up on him. When she returned, a call from Sam was waiting for her on her home phone.

“You were so right. I’m listening to you, and I’ll listen to Sam. What do I need to know?” she asked panicked that she might say the wrong thing.

“Be friends first. Be present in his company,” Ivy reminded her caller.

On Halloween, Sam gave Charlotte a promise ring, out of the blue. He jokingly told her that he picked the holiday to remind her not to scare him again. Their relationship he said, had become much more fulfilling and secure.

“We haven’t even renewed our sexual relationship,” Charlotte remarked, “Yet we’re more bonded than ever. Everyday I ask myself if I’ve listened to Sam and I remind myself to stay present. Patience seems to have seeped into other areas of my life, too,” she added. I can’t believe what I might have missed out on… I might have pushed my soulmate away.”

Over the Christmas holidays, Sam finally met Charlotte’s parents. Charlotte continues to call Ivy for readings, but her new focus is on spiritual matters, Ivy reports happily.