You Don’t Have to Be Uncomfortable
While embracing discomfort can help you grow, sometimes you end up in uncomfortable situations and need to, well, fake feeling A-OK. Maybe you’re meeting your partner’s parents and their mom and dad spend the whole dinner bickering with each other (or making out). Perhaps you’re in a meeting and your boss is berating the intern. Or you could be on a first date and you feel far less of a connection than the person across from you does.
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In any case, wanting to keep your cool even when you feel uncomfortable can be tough. To give yourself a quick reprieve before spurring into any kind of action (excusing yourself, sticking up for that poor underling or letting someone down gently), try these six comfort-boosting techniques.
1. Remember to Breathe
You may not realize you’re holding your breath or breathing too shallowly until you focus on your inhales and exhales. Breath in slowly for three counts, hold your breath for another three, and then very slowly exhale to calm your nervous system and keep you from seeming totally out of sorts and uncomfortable.
2. Soften Your Expression
When we feel uncomfortable, it often shows up on our faces. Do a quick mental scan of your expression and release your eyebrows, eyes, and mouth. This alleviates any so-called “resting bitch face” you may be making. Making your expression more open may also influence the moods and emotions of those around you. The less tense you seem, the less tense others may feel too, having a positive domino effect on the whole room.
3. Release Your Shoulders
While you’re releasing your face, check your neck and shoulders for additional tension too. If you need to, reach back and give your neck a quick squeeze to give you something to do (other than recoil and wish you were somewhere else). Who knows, someone may see you do this and change the subject and ask you about your neck. There’s no shame in faking a gym injury for the sake of saving everyone from the uncomfortable situation at hand.
4. Root Your Feet
A common recipe for battling anxiety is to ground yourself and it works well in uncomfortable situations too. First, focus on your feet: The weight of them on the floor, and the way your socks or shoes feel. Then, wiggle your toes, raise your heels, do whatever you need to do to put your energy toward the connection between your feet and the ground. Soon, you’ll feel more in tune with your body and less wrapped up in your mind and emotional state.
5. Find Someone You Can Connect With
If you’re in a larger setting, like a mixer, dating or networking event, look for someone who seems just as uncomfortable as you are and buddy up. Having someone to pal around and commiserate with will help you feel less alone. In fact, making a friend may allow both of you to get more out of whatever event you’re attending.
6. Pull Out Your Smartphone
When all else fails, whip out your phone and allow yourself to scroll Instagram, text a friend, check email or do whatever you need to do to temporality excuse yourself from the situation. Self-preservation is more important than appearing rude when you’re feeling uncomfortable. Giving yourself something different to focus on will help you get your equilibrium back.
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