We’ve all experienced the excitement of expectation that can power us through late nights at the office week after week, or sticking by your love through some very tough times… believing that soon the tide would turn. But sometimes it just doesn’t. All of your efforts don’t lead to what you want – you don’t get a promotion and your relationship ends anyway. What can you do with all that disappointment?
The frustration of doomed expectations can be exactly the energy source you need to get your life back on track. You can’t change the universe to have things come out in your favor once the moment has passed, but you can face the truth and turn around all of that foiled, confused and baffled anger into some positive movement in your life.
What happened?
First, think about the outcome you wanted or expected and the outcome that really happened. The sooner you face the truth about how things actually went, the better you’ll launch off from that point. Jump full on into your disappointment so you can go through it. Don’t pretend it’s not upsetting or that you didn’t really want what you’re disappointed about. Lying to yourself will only distort your thinking. Write a letter of complaint to the universe stating what it was you wanted and how you felt when you didn’t get it. And then, ask for a refund! A redo… another try! Your experience is valid, so ask for what you really want – another chance.
Be bigger and better…
The deeper your disappointment, the more energy you have to turn outward into action, action, action! Revenge is great start-up fuel. And the greatest revenge is living a good life. So don’t forget to smile when you meet his new girlfriend or the guy that got the corner office. And then, train harder, take new opportunities, open your heart to a new relationship. Don’t get stuck in the despair. Just keep moving because action creates miracles. Staying in paralyzing disappointment creates nothing. Remember, every success is paved with failures. You are not the first person or the last person to experience this rite of passage and you will be stronger because of it.
Be free!
Finally, to let in the next new experience, your new job, relationship, whatever it is, you must let go of your grip on the disappointment. By staying in the “why didn’t I get what I want” experience you block out what you need. So practice detachment! Perhaps you didn’t get the promotion because you are going to get a better job at another company. Perhaps a relationship has to end in order to free you up to receive in other areas of your life and find a partner who grows with you in a new way. It’s time to let your letter go into the world. Throw it into the ocean or tear it into little pieces and let the wind take it away. You’ve been heard, now it’s time to take new action now and the rest is out of your hands. So sit back and enjoy the ride!
Disappointment comes when a desired outcome didn’t come to pass – yet. Though it may be painful to walk through, it’s not over till it’s over. Dream again, dream more. Our dreams are not there to torture us – they are a gift to inspire us everyday.
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