Do You Have Control Issues?

Let’s face it, most people like to be in the driver’s seat in life… but there’s a big difference between being in control and being controlling! Sometimes it may be hard to tell where you stand. Do you need to take the reigns and dictate your destiny – or stop trying to tell everyone else what to do?

If you’re not sure whether your approach is true leadership or borderline bossy, or if you want your way so much it drives everyone in the opposite direction… take this quiz and get clued in.

1. At work, at home, in life, I make lists and I stick to them like glue, checking off a box at a time – expressly in the order they’re written with excellent attention to detail.

a.) Exactly. Just like that. Order is my sanity. (10)

b.) I keep lists – they’re not always perfect, but I find they help me track things. (7)

c.) I try to stay organized like that… it just usually goes awry at some point. (4)

d.) Lists? Who the hell are you kidding? (0)

2. In general I expect people to see things my way. It’s not that I know everything, I’m just usually right.

a.) Well, I certainly like people to share my point of view, but I don’t expect it. (4)

b.) I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s my way or the highway, baby! (10)

c.) No one ever agrees with me, so why bother? (0)

d.) Eh… I don’t know. I can be easily swayed on some issues, firm on others. Compromise is fine by me. (4)

3. I rarely ask for help.

a.) True – I don’t want to bother anyone. (3)

b.) True – I prefer things the way I do them (10)

c.) False – I don’t usually try things on my own (0)

d.) False – I know the importance of surrounding myself with trustworthy people. No one person can do everything, afterall! (5)

4. Conversation is best when…

a.) I’m at the helm, whether it’s about me or world events, I consider myself a leader. (10)

b.) Everybody’s got something to say… and I like it that way! (5)

c.) I don’t have to say much. I tend to be shy, or at least until I’m really comfortable. (0)

5. Structure is…

a.) Important, but not so rigid that life can’t be shifted. Flexibility is a vital quality to possess!(5)

b.) Oppressive. Who wants rules, anyway? (3)

c.) The key to organized living. As long as I set the structure! (10)

d.) Something I should maybe have more of… But it’s all good. (5)

6. So you have this friend, who’s like, messy (and that’s putting it kindly). How do you feel when you go to their house?

a.) Grossed out! Give me a break and pick up after yourself already. You’re not 13 anymore! Jeez. Of course even when I was 13 I was neater than this! (10)

b.) Mildly disturbed… and hesitant to sit on the couch. But it’s not really my business, so I just try to suggest meeting at my place. (6)

c.) Why would it bother me? (4)

d.) Are you talking about my place? (0)

7. When it comes to how people should behave – if there is such a thing – you usually expect them to react as you would, and are disappointed (or angry) when they don’t.

a.) True. And there absolutely is a way that people should behave! (10)

b.) False. It may have taken me awhile, but I’ve learned not to force my expectations onto someone else. (0)

c.) It depends. I try not to be that way, but sometimes I am. (5)

Scoring

Up to 24 points
You definitely have control issues – you’re not taking enough of it in at least in one area of your life! If you feel like opportunities are passing you by, whether they’re in love, career, finances or any other department, it’s time to take charge and make your voice heard. From conversations to more concrete plans, learning to participate in the world around you will do a lot for your self-esteem and help you to start dictating your own destiny (rather than being run down by every passer by). And for goodness sake, don’t worry about coming off as too A-type or dicator-like (that fear would be part of your character). You have way too far to go to let concern over what other people will think stop you. Take a stand. If you don’t do it for something (you’ve heard the saying), you’re liable to fall for anything!

25-54
In all likelihood, depending on where you fall in this spectrum, you’ve got a good balance going on when it comes to give and take – sharing and listening. You understand that structure does give us a framework in life, but also that rules were, in fact, made to be broken – it’s just a matter of knowing when to break them! What’s important for you to remember as you maintain your good habits and continue to manifest abundance in all areas, is that while you are the dictator of your own destiny, dictators are better off loved than feared. In this case, you can’t control anyone but yourself. But you know that, don’t you?

55-70
If the term “control freak” were in the dictionary, your picture would be posted along side the definition. You have an overwhelming need (or so you think) to control your environment and the people in it, but what you don’t realize is that you’re probably masking fear. It takes faith (and courage) to take a leap and trust that the universe will give you what you need, when you need it. And it will – as soon as you stop trying to manipulate it. The truth is, you probably don’t even realize that’s what you’re doing (Manipulation? Who me?). When you live your life with a hawkeye and steel fist, you’re sending the wrong kinds of signals – that you are prepared for battle and will win at all costs. Wouldn’t it be better to learn to let go a little? Surround yourself with people you trust and then trust them. It’s okay to be vulnerable. Learn to live with feeling out of control. It can be the most freeing feeling in the world.