My Truth Is Not Necessarily Another Person’s Truth
We fight most of the time, because we have to be right, we have to convince others of us being right, and we have to win! So how does one overcome ego in a society that has no losers and only winners? It’s a tough nut to crack. In order to stop fighting for being right, we’d have to lose our attachment to outcome. But wouldn’t that mean that we have to lose our passion and engagement? How can we convince people or sell them on our point if we don’t have an attachment to convincing them of anything?
The fact is that my truth is not necessarily another person’s truth, and vice versa. Sure, I believe there are universal truths, but not to bend them is my choice and sometimes not the choice of others.
When someone is really convinced of something they are rarely willing to change their mind, no matter how compelling the argument may be. If the belief is a deep rooted one, not even evidence of the contrary changes the opinion. And how is that surprising? Almost all religions work by that very principle. People don’t necessarily believe in what is true, but in what or whom they believe to be right; and sometimes there is a huge gap between the two.
I always felt that healthy debate and an open mind are the best traits to have. Sometimes I would get sucked into being “human” by starting to argue; especially when I felt that my very being or core were either attacked or undermined. However, I did find that the older I get, the less I feel a need to “defend” myself. Sure, there are still times where certain remarks or topics trigger a response, but overall, I try to be conscious of my need to argue about something. Because even if I deeply believe in a cause or thing, it doesn’t mean I have to argue about it. I can choose to walk away or debate. I am not responsible for other people’s thoughts, emotions, shortcomings, or reactions. However, I try to be mindful of them!
“Whatever it is that is causing you stress, most likely it is there to teach you a lesson. Sometimes the truth stings a bit.” – Psychic William ext. 5131
I used to fight a lot of empty and utterly useless battles. I would come to the aid of someone who didn’t want to be helped. I would argue because the fundamental “wrongness” of something would drive me insane. I needed to fight the good fight and speak up for everything and everyone I felt was being wronged. Then I learned about the human race at large and found that no argument, evidence, or proof changed a thing. In the end, most people will run from face-to-face confrontation, follow blindly and cowardly, yet angrily, hide from what might be truth but causes discomfort, or god forbid, work on their part. People generally follow the path of least resistance, even if that path is destructive to themselves or others.
Yes, there are certain things that I believe are absolutely crucial to fight for, especially if I can help or aid another or many. An example would be speaking up about a bully, or calling help for someone who is getting robbed.
In my personal life I try to eliminate the fighting and the drama that comes with it, by simply walking away from those who add those elements. I don’t need to convince them of my truth, I don’t need to launch any hate campaigns or even speak up. Sometimes one has to understand that it is OK to have different values, but that setting boundaries means that I am not obligated to interact with those who cannot share or respect mine.
Fighting doesn’t change a thing and it doesn’t change minds. The only thing that has potential to change the minds of others is leading by example. Sometimes others get inspired enough to follow the example and other times they do not. But in the end, it’s up to each and every one of us to be the person we set out to be and aspire to be, regardless if others follow.
“Once the truth is out in the open, we can direct our efforts towards addressing that specific problem or problems and creating a solution.” – Psychic Justine ext. 5402
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8 thoughts on “Fight to Be Right”
But I can honestly say…..I’m the type of person that CAN debate a subject with any person…..while still respecting their viewpoint, and then shake their hand later and buy them lunch.
It’s rare though that I see people that can do that……
Maybe this article should be forwarded to our esteemed politicians in Washington, to all parties involved……LOL ….yes?
At the end of my life, I do not imagine myself thinking, “Well at least I won a lot of arguments.”
Filling life with snappy comebacks that hurt others, or spending vast amounts of time shouting – well, that’s no way to live. There are times when we must fight, but we should also remember that fighting can do permanent damage to relationships, to people, and to ourselves – think before you fight.
Reed x5105
PS…..
Hey Carmen ,
….does that mean we can debate the topic of ” arranged marriages ” again ????
LOL LOL …..only kidding…..I’m just jerking your chain….lol
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Carmen, I loved this post. Thank you.
I just want to share, with everyone, that I never felt such a freedom, within, until I stopped defending myself-I have to say, actually, that my belief in God, Angels and the Universe, had a lot to do with it…
I am not saying I never defend myself-But the more I try to reduce that, in all situations, the more peace I have, period. Happy Holidays! Miss Krystal
Hi Carmen,
I’ve met very few people in my lifetime that are able to engage in healthy debate……
I’ve trained psychics for over 3 decades now…..the first thing I teach them in my class is that in order to give great readings, one must drop the ego AND pre-conceived notions of certain circumstances, and be totally open to whatever comes to them.
The second thing I teach them is NOT to mix their life baggage into the reading…..they have to be totally objective during the reading, no matter WHAT their own life experience or baggage was or is.
For what we do is NOT left-brained algebra or geometry…..it is NOT based upon any psychology or counseling skills…..
a + b does not always equal b + a in my field……
For a + b in my field can have a thousand different meanings AND outcomes, depending on the client and the circumstances in question
case in 1st point…..not every cheating man who uses,…..hmmmm, say….the kids as an excuse to stay in a marriage….ends up actually, in the long run, staying in that marriage…….50% do leave….
This article hits the nail on the head with life and what is going on in my life. My mantra is “I am not obligated to interact with those who cannoct share or respect my boundaries, truth and values. I have learnedto walk away. I am a strong person and glad for it. Alot of people find me intimidating until they get to know me. Not that I enjoy being or seeming this way, it is to be aware of other people’s drama. I am not a dramacated person. I am straight up and honest. I love one a deeply. One also has to love oneself. There are alot of negative people out there. I used to try to find the best in everyone. I can pick stuff out and see right through most of the time. I know what is going to happen or I have seen it already.
My husband is a great “pot stirrer” and thinks he has to be right on every conversation issue. I was a very introverted, sensitive person when we got married and I let his sarcasm and criticism blow my self-esteem until about 8 years into marriage I started standing up for myself.
I have always had a weight issue and since I have lost 50+ pounds, I have more confidence and can speak my mind more. Also age has helped me stand my ground.
M.
Absolutely brilliant insights which resonate with my philosophy of life.
Thanks.
Jase