Self-Improvement: Are You Your Life’s Unreliable Narrator?

Dig Deep for Self-Improvement

People often talk about self-improvement like we can simply speak with the right person and that external party will sort everything out for us. And well, that’s true! However, the right person (psychic, life coach, therapist) can only give us tools and advice. It is up to us to propel our own self-improvement. But how do we know what changes to make? How do we understand our motivations? The key is learning to be self-aware.

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Dig Deep and Ruminate

To improve ourselves we cannot put all the work onto another person. When we actually listen to the life coach, therapist, and/or psychic’s guidance and admit to ourselves that there are areas that need work, we are being self-aware. This isn’t to say you should listen to every outside bit of feedback and blindly agree. Instead, dig deep within yourself and ruminate. Try to take an objective look at yourself without being too critical or too easygoing. If you can get to a place where you can take a good look within, then you can start to realize what you need to improve and which advice to take. While it is hard to step out of ourselves, it is a key aspect in self-improvement. How can we possibly improve unless we are truly honest with ourselves?

Don’t Always Take Your Own Side

Is your initial reaction to feedback to reject it? Do you always assume others are wrong? Well, perhaps this is an area where you are not self-aware. If you always, without exception, take your own side then you’re not being realistic. Sometimes you are wrong and sometimes a change would benefit you. No one is right 100% of the time. If your desire is to improve yourself and you don’t feel like you are making progress, then perhaps you need help figuring out when to take your own side and when to listen to others.

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Are You Defensive?

You want to be your own champion and defend against the attacks of others, but what if they’re not attacking you? Don’t just assume that all criticism is meant to be hurtful. One of the best ways to be self-aware is to understand the motivations and intentions of others. If you know someone truly cares about you and has good intentions, or on the flip side, they are an objective third party, such as a life coach, psychic, or therapist, know that most likely they are not attacking you. Also consider how the feedback is shared. If someone takes the time to offer suggestions in a kind manner with a warm tone, most likely they may have some helpful tips to share. If you fight off their comments without consideration, you may be missing out on an opportunity for growth. So be open when others try to provide helpful advice—even if it’s something you don’t want to hear. Give their suggestions some thought.

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Do You Notice a Pattern?

If you keep running into the same feedback and/or the same problems, consider that those patterns may be indicating an issue of which you are not aware. A great way to help understand yourself is through your own patterns. If you find the same issues often repeating or people consistently suggesting the same changes, you can take stock that these areas may need improvement from you. If you have been resisting changing something for a long time, it may be because that’s the thing crying out for the most change.

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Others Can Be a Mirror

Be aware of the reactions you elicit from other people. If you notice multiple people not reacting with favor to your behavior, perhaps it’s time to admit that part of the problem is you and not only them. Do you behave a certain way that tends to push people away? Perhaps you have acted in a fashion that has turned off other people. Try not to blindly blame everyone else. Just as you know you are not always right, they are not always wrong. We can only really improve when we are aware of what needs improving. Just as it is important to not blame ourselves for everything, it is definitely crucial to sometimes admit when the change needs to come from us. It’s a difficult task, but we are each in charge of our own process. So take a good look at yourself, keep what you like, and change what you don’t.