Show, Don’t Tell

All the words in the world are useless if one isn’t willing to do the action behind them. This is why positive talk by itself is ineffective. “Why even change my words, then?” you may ask. Because most actions start with words, and we’ll eventually believe what we utter to ourselves constantly.

53% of how we come across to others is delivered by non-verbal cues! This is how one can identify a liar, for example. Or have you ever met the people who talk about how confident they are/how good they are at a certain thing? If the body language does not convey the same thing, people won’t believe the words either. This is why many of us literally take deep breaths and stand up straight when we enter a job interview or otherwise challenging situation. Appearing tall conveys confidence to others and to us. Walk tall, with your head held high… and just try feeling small and insignificant! It’s like saying “yes” while shaking your head.

How about people who keep giving you advice on life situations, while their lives are total messes? Or a boss who keeps telling you what to do and how to do it, even though they’ve never done the work themselves? How serious do you take the words? Yes, there are some who are excellent advice givers, but don’t ever take their own advice to heart. Continuously demonstrating that you cannot do what you are preaching will take your credibility away. Trust me, I speak from experience. (Hangs head in shame…)

There comes a point when even the best advice loses its power. This is when we have to actually do something. Words can and will be detrimental to one’s well-being and growth if they are negative. This is due to the fact that our unconscious mind does not differentiate between positives and negatives. For example, if I keep telling myself that I don’t want to crave cheeseburgers anymore, guess what’s now firmly imprinted into my mind? A cheeseburger, of course. It works this way with all negative cues. This is why it is really important to omit negative language from one’s vocabulary. This is how hypnosis works.

When we start doing the things we are most afraid of, we are sending a very powerful message to our unconscious mind – namely, “I am brave.” Keep doing it and the unconscious will believe it. It believes indiscriminately, no matter what you tell it. And given that it is our unconscious mind which creates our reality, it only makes sense that one’s life starts shifting when one combines the actual words with the actions behind it. This is why therapy does not work for certain people. If one is not willing to do the suggestions of the therapist, no counseling in the world will be successful. In this case, therapy becomes a mere excuse for doing nothing.

The difference between talking the talk and walking the walk is being passive versus being active. Those who talk a lot – if not combined with actions – tend to wait for things to happen to them. The doers take control of their life or a situation. If you think about relationships in this sense, you will also be able to weed out the true ones versus the superficial ones. The words are merely noise if one is not willing to follow them or act on them. So take a deep breath, stand up tall and move forward.