The War at Home

When it comes to personal progress, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. We hold ourselves to impossible standards. We can be quick to judge and slow to forgive our own mistakes. Maybe we set unattainable goals. And worse yet, we trick ourselves into believing we’re not even worth the effort.

Once you identify your actions, it’s time to take a stand against sabotage. So try these tips on how to stop being  your own worst enemy – and start being your best advocate!

Listen
Every moment of every day, you send messages to yourself, whether you realize it or not. Until you start paying attention to this “self talk,” you may not have any idea how negative those messages can be. Start listening to your thoughts and you may be surprised at what you’re saying to yourself. When you stub your toe, do you think “Why am I so stupid?” When you try on a pair of jeans, you might think, “I’m so fat.” When you get rejected by a lover, you may even say to yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”

Tuning in to negative self-talk is the first step in becoming your own advocate. Once you realize the negative messages you’re sending yourself, you can begin to intercept them and replace them with positive messages instead. Not only will these affirmations discourage you from constantly judging yourself, they will encourage your self-esteem and empower you to live a bold life.

Let go
One of the biggest roadblocks to success is fear. Maybe you’re preoccupied with what other people think, and you live in fear of disappointing them. Maybe you don’t want your life to change, so you live in fear of becoming too successful. Or maybe you refuse to set goals for yourself because you are afraid to fail.

Regardless of how fear manifests itself, if it rules your life, it will sabotage your growth and prevent you from achieving your full potential. To let go of that fear, you have to first figure out what’s causing it. Look to parents, siblings, lovers and life experiences to see how they’ve influenced your fears. Then look at your present life – where have you let fear block you from taking positive action?

Now is the time to break those habits and establish new patterns, based on your own sense of self-worth and adventure. Once you face your fears, you can recognize them when they arise – and make a conscious choice to let them go.

Love, love, love
One of the most self-destructive things we do is close ourselves off to love. We let past pain harden our hearts to new love. We become jaded by the world and lose our love for humanity. We become so busy with managing a hectic life that we forget how to love life. And the worst sin of all, we forget how to love ourselves.

If you really want to stop the war within yourself, you have to open yourself to love – loving those around you, loving life and loving yourself. If your life is filled with love, you’ll naturally stop defeating yourself and begin to champion your own life.