Lonely and Neglected

Felicity in Witbank writes:

I really don’t know what is going on with life, especially with my love affair. I really love my partner, but I don’t think he’s doing his best, or maybe it’s because he just lost his dad last month. He neglects me all the time, and I
feel lonely, as if we’re not dating any longer. Please help me!

Dear Felicity,

Your boyfriend is going through a difficult time. Dealing with the loss of his father is certainly a large part of it, but everyday life also seems to be getting him a bit down.

I know you love him and just want things to get back to normal, but he is in a more withdrawn space. This isn’t just with you, it is with everybody. It’s going to take him some time before he starts to feel grounded again. Right now, he is just kind of drifting.

Even though you should be respectful and supportive of his stresses, and the rest of the emotional upheaval he is going through, you also need to tell him what you are feeling. You may not see him as doing his best, and you have slipped to a lower level of his priorities, but he will try and explain what he is going through so that you may feel a little less neglected. He feels as if he is at a place where things are more about him, and less about you. This isn’t meant to hurt you, it is just how he’s feeling.

It’s going to take several months to get things back on track, so you will have to be patient if you want things to work out. He’s just trying to cope with his own stuff, and not quite aware that in the process, he’s alienating you.

Brightest Blessings,
Red