Help Them Help Him
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Dear Psychic Nevada,
My teenage son smokes marijuana, can’t keep a job, refuses to go to school, and is about to become a teen dad. To make matters worse, there is no way my son and his girlfriend have the ability to care for the baby. I am afraid the responsibility will fall on my husband and I. We have supported our son through all his challenges but we are getting tired of it. I don’t know what to do now that he is about to become a teen dad. Do you see things improving for our son?
Thank you.
Psychic Nevada ext. 6581 responds:
You and your husband have tried to help your teenage son, yet your son continues to search for his own (and at times, impractical) family unit. These are long-standing voids in him that keep nagging at him as unfulfilled and mysterious. His impractical perceptions have greatly affected his motivations, direction, and overall clarity about his path today. This is why he is on the verge of becoming a teen dad.
However, becoming a teen dad will inspire your son to change. While things will intensify initially, your son will begin to shift his perspectives with a rise in maturity that comes from being a teen dad. The child will initiate such a strong adrenaline boost for your son despite all. Your teenage son, slowly but surely, will begin to think more unselfishly and will have more consideration about long-term causes and effects.
Things will begin to improve when your son prioritizes a version of personal balance, along with practical parenting and demystifying partnership. Unfortunately, the relationship between your son and his girlfriend will begin to become less and less compatible. However, this will motivate your son to take personal responsibility and seek greater direction as a teen dad.
In order for his parental responsibilities to not become yours, you need to make the choice to set up boundaries. This will be easier to do than you think as a result of your pure exhaustion and because you are already feeling depleted. You must communicate to him that you are unable to be a full-time parent to his child. This will cause him to seek childcare options other than you and your husband. If you don’t take these steps, your internal balance and your marriage will reap the consequences of further exhaustion.
Overall, the best medicine is you being unapologetic about your own exhaustion and need to prioritize yourself at this time. If you give in to your son, you will be overly responsible for your grandchild. You need to begin prioritizing yourself as a new being, without guilt or apology. It may be easier said than done, but you are being called to find the healthiest balance for you now.
With gratitude,
Nevada
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