Mike in Poughkeepsie writes:
My son has been dating this girl with many issues off and on for the past four years. She keeps breaking up with him and he keeps taking her back. In the end of August we went on a family vacation to Florida and we took this girl with us. We assumed they were back together and that they were together for the long haul. We paid for everything. No sooner did we get back to New York did she dump him. She has new friends, the cool and hip group. She totally abandoned him and in fact bad mouthed him to gain the acceptance of the group. Everything she said got back to us. What I am worried about is six months down the road will this girl start missing him? My son is so unique and nobody but him will put up with her moods and treat her like he does. I am afraid that the group won’t turn out as wonderful as it was expected and she will come back looking for him. Also will karma deal with what she has done? I hate to admit this, but I hope she feels some pain for what she has done to my son.
Dear Mike,
I know you are just looking out for your son, but you also need to accept that young Mike is going to make his own decisions when it comes to this girl. While you may view her as evil incarnate, he does not. I understand that it is very difficult for you to watch your child hurt and make decisions that may cause him even more pain, but it is part of being a parent. All you can do is be there to help him through the hard times, and help him to be his own man.
The girl in question will try to reconnect with your son, but only after things fail to fully come together with the guy she currently has her eye on. I’m not so sure your son will be as quick to take her back as he has been in the past. Heartache and heartbreak are lessons we all learn in this life, and your son is no exception.
Wanting karmic revenge is a pretty typical reaction. Trust me, karma always takes her due. What you need to look at, and let go of, is your own anger and feelings of being betrayed by your son’s ex. She’s just a girl, with her own problems and issues, trying to fit in. You thought the kids were together for the long haul, and you made your decisions based on that assumption. That is something you need to accept responsibility for. Not everyone returns kindness with gratitude and loyalty.
It’s a shame that your son and your family are the subject of less than favorable conversation, but those who know you can separate truths from embellishments. This is just the drama of life, and the drama of growing up. Lead by example for your boy and don’t put a lot of energy into playing into all of the drama. What is done is done, and it is best to move on.
I really hope this helps you, and helps you to help your son.
Good luck to you,
Red
Ext. 9226
