Red, I am totally dumbfounded. I have been in a relationship with a man that I married but we divorced and I did not want this! We still see each other except when his step-sister is in town. He says that they are just really close, but he picks a fight with me each time she is in town from Texas and the signs look like they are sleeping together — and I don’t mean sleeping! He was my whole world since my kids are grown and gone, but my intuition says they are having sex. Are they? I don’t want to waste another 6 years if that is where his heart truly is! Please help me!!!
Signed,
Confused
Dear Confused,
Your ex and his step-sister are quite cozy with one another, I must say. I really hate to be the one to confirm your suspicions, but there is a physical relationship there that goes way beyond a close bond between siblings.
I strongly doubt that this relationship will fully come out of the closet, or that he will ever tell you the whole truth regarding his step-sister. I suppose every family has a skeleton or two in the closet.
He picks fights with you when she is around because he does feel that there is some level of “wrong” in his feelings towards his step-sister, even though there are no blood ties. But he also is very protective of that relationship, and will go to great lengths for stolen moments.
This woman does hold a certain place in his heart. But so do you.
Infidelity is hard enough to overcome in a relationship. Infidelity with a family member adds a whole new element to the equation.
The up-side is he knows there is no “real” future with his step-sister. The down side is this man has a problem with fidelity, period.
I know you still love him. I also know that you have an incredible capacity to forgive this man. It looks like you are going to struggle with making a decision for a bit longer. When the time is right for you, I do see you walking away, and for more reasons than just the step-sister thing.
I’m sorry.
Brightest Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226
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