Red Responds: Supporting Her Partner in Her Pursuits

Hi Red,

I’m hoping you can shed a little light for me. Last year, my partner and I moved so she could pursue her dream career. In order for her to devote time to her career, we’ve agreed that I will be the bread winner for now. Once her career takes off, the roles will be reversed. It’s not a bad arrangement, and I feel pretty strongly that things will go well.

What I’m not sure about is the timing of everything. A lot of future decisions (children, my future career change, etc.) hinge on her “making it”. Do you think it’s silly to delay all of these things until then, or do you think everything will fall in place fairly quickly? Is there anything that either of us can do to move things along, or should we take a more organic approach and let things happen in their own time?

Signed,
The clock’s ticking

Dear Ticking,

I’m all for dream-chasing and truly admire anyone who has the guts to chase them. It is truly awesome that you are supporting your partner in her pursuits.

While your partner will eventually “make it”, it is going to take a bit longer than either of you are thinking. Please don’t take this as discouraging news. It’s a bit of an uphill battle for her, but a hard-won victory is always twice as sweet. Things tend to happen when they are supposed to, which doesn’t always line up with when we want them to.

I don’t think it’s silly to delay things, as long as they are not left to the time frame “indefinitely”. Not everything will manifest exactly as planned, but things will eventually fall into place.

Right now, even though the clock is ticking, time is still on your side. You will have your family, but children are still about three years away from you. In some ways that feels like not enough time, and in others it seems quite far away. Either way, it seems like ultimately that is the “right time.”

As for your future career pursuits, things are going to come about for you before your partner reaches her desired level of success. It’s a simple issue of sometimes plans change.

Overall, I see that the two of you have a pretty golden future. Try and let go of some of the anxiety and frustration that seems to circle around you. It doesn’t help anything come about any faster, just makes it feel like things are taking longer.

Keep chasing those dreams, individually and as a couple. You just may be surprised at what you catch!

Brightest Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226