Red Responds: When You Know They’re Your Soulmate

You thought you had a soulmate connection. The relationship was long and wonderful but it ended. Your heart is broken because this person who you felt was going to be there forever, no longer is there. Were they your soulmate? Red talks about past and future soulmates, if we can have more than one and the likelihood of finding our twin flame.

And They Leave You Anyway

Delphine from Calumet City asks:

Hi Red, I was wondering about soulmates and if I have one or am close to one. I am a single mother of a three-year-old toddler. I was in a relationship with her father for nine years and engaged to be married. Suddenly the economy hit, I lost my job, and my daughter’s father left. I was hurt, because I thought he was my soulmate.

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Delphine,

While we all have a soulmate (or a few) floating around out there somewhere, not everyone is fortunate enough to connect with their soulmate. And, the older the soul, the potential of having more than one soulmate increases.

Looking at the relationship you had with your daughter’s father, I really can’t rule him out as being one of your soulmates. You do have an older soul, and I strongly get the sense that you have more than one soulmate roaming the Earth at present. Having said that, I do have to warn you that I am not seeing a connection with this other soulmate energy for about a decade. I’m not telling you this to dash your hopes, but rather to encourage you to live your life fully and explore the other relationships that are coming your way.

Soulmate bonds are formed through the passing of many lifetimes with other souls. Not all soulmate bonds are strictly romantic; not all soulmates who find their partners in this life have a constant romantic past life history. However, the more romantic histories two souls have shared, the more powerful the soulmate bond becomes from lifetime to lifetime.

Now, here’s the big misconception: SOULMATE RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT MEAN “EASY” OR “PERMANENT.” The relationship you shared with your ex is a prime example of this simple, but often overlooked or misunderstood, truth. Soulmate relationships produce a deeper understanding, bond, feeling of ease and familiarity, and often the feeling of safety or completion, that exceeds other types of relationships, but they don’t come with some iron-clad guarantee of relationship success or permanence. While they may contain fewer risks and difficulties in some arenas, they most certainly aren’t without challenges and risks. (Personally, I’d love to smack whoever expressed the concept that finding your soulmate equals a blissful, problem-free, life-lasting relationship, because that impression causes so many people so much unnecessary pain.)

Now, finding your twin flame that is exceptionally difficult, but also offers more of the qualities and less of the hassles and risks that the soulmate misconception has lured so many into believing. But, the odds of finding your twin flame, the soul that is essentially the other half of your soul, is about as likely as finding the fleck of a diamond stud that I lost hiking, off-trail, in West Virginia, back in 1986. Simply put, it’s quite rare.

Your ex was your soulmate, at least one of them. In part, that is why his memory is still so painful, and you’ve had quite the time letting go. Some bonds are not easily broken or forgotten. That pain, confusion, frustration and difficulty is so much deeper than a breakup with Joe Blow because of the soulmate connection. But even though it ended, that relationship did further each of you on your individual paths in this life, not to mention blessing you with your daughter. So even though you didn’t get the “happily ever after” with him, you did get quite a bit of happy, and this amazing being you wouldn’t have had without him. (Fortunately, your daughter seems to have more of his good qualities and pleasing mannerisms than his less desirable traits.)

I’m going to give you what many may see as some off-the-wall advice: Don’t search for your soulmate, and don’t wait for him.

One of the blessings of soulmate relationships is that that person comes into your life at the proper time—an instance of divine timing. Waiting and searching cannot create divine timing. Instead, trust that your great love will recognize you at the same instant you recognize him, because that’s how it often works. While we have free will and like to believe we have control, there are certain things in each of our life paths that are simply not forcible or unavoidable. Soulmate connections fall into that precise arena.

You have two lovers that present before you meet your soulmate. The first relationship will be worthy but light, and you will recognize that he is joyous and beneficial, but not necessarily the one you wish to grow old with. The relationship will sustain for about two years, and time and life will cause a drifting that puts the two of you on separate paths. Even though the romance will end, the friendship will remain. Your second relationship looks as if it stays for just over or under five years. While he is a lovely person—very supportive and trustworthy—your love for him will plateau. While this does not cause you suffering or unhappiness, your desire for more fiery passion will begin to grow as your soulmate draws nearer. There will be some pain that comes with the parting of man #2, largely because it is you that will bring about the end to the romance. He will handle it with grace, and send you cards and your daughter holiday gifts long after the relationship has come to a close. Even though your daughter will be quite close to him, she will not be devastated when the breakup comes and the situation changes. You have a very old and wise soul in the body of that child. I do believe that her soul is even older than yours, so don’t be too shocked when she comes up with things you wouldn’t expect her to know or understand.

You will marry your soulmate #2, and he is everything that soulmate #1 was not. I think we can both agree this is a blessing. Interestingly enough, strangers will assume your child is his, for she will grow to look as if she could be. It does make for a nice family portrait!

As long as you live fully, your experiences with love will be worthy experiences. In time, you will have the love, and family, you are destined to have. While you may never entirely feel free of your ex, you will ultimately want to thank him for releasing you into a life and a happiness you never would have chosen if he’d been “man enough” to stay.

Brightest Blessings,

Red

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