Don’t Be an April Fool!

So there are tons of lists of what to do on a first date: go somewhere you can actually speak, try an activity date, be yourself! But what shouldn’t you do if you want to put your best foot forward? Take these tips and you’ll be much more likely to walk away with date two (if you want it) and much less likely to feel like you did something you shouldn’t have!

1. Don’t be late.
Sounds simple, but it’s true. Being late is a good indicator you’ll continue to be late – and it also makes it seem like the date doesn’t mean much to you. Be prompt, and if something comes up that is making you late for any reason – call and let the other person know. If you’re the one being picked up, same goes. Call and apologize that you’re a few minutes behind schedule. You’ll come off as courteous and most likely, your date will overlook your tardiness.

2. Don’t spend the whole date talking (especially about yourself)!
Here’s the thing: people who talk about themselves nonstop come off as narcissistic. Now, I know that most often those who speak only about themselves are insecure – or sometimes nervous – but a potential mate may not have this information. They’ll see you as self-centered at best and at worst, self-obsessed. Women are just as guilty of this as men. The thing to remember if you have a tendency to talk too much – it’s not your job to convince this person to like you nor is your point to impress them. It’s your job to be you. And to find out about them!

One of the biggest mistakes we make (especially women) is thinking that we need to make someone like us – forgetting that for our part, the first date should be about figuring out if we like them!

3. Don’t dish on your ex…
If you spend any amount of time talking about your last relationship – or any of your past relationships – you will likely come off as still hung up. If you are still hung up, you may not be ready to be on this date in the first place… But then again, at some point you have to get back out there. Only you know when to make that decision. However, no matter what you do, DO NOT bring up your old relationships – especially if you don’t have anything nice to say, and even if you do. It just doesn’t go anywhere positive. Bringing up past relationships early on builds room for suspicion and insecurity, deserved or not!

4. Don’t dish on anyone else!
Commenting negatively about anyone early on is just not a good reflection on you and your take of the world. That’s not to say you have to be Miss Mary Sunshine. If there’s something or someone in your life you don’t like (say a mean boss or a busybody aunt) don’t pretend to like them – just don’t bring it up! And for goodness sake, don’t comment badly on any attractive people in the room. It doesn’t make you look any better and in fact, makes you look worse. Insecure and, for lack of a better word, catty.

5. Don’t be rude.
Whether this means being nice to your waitress or saying thank you to the guy at the ticket counter, make an effort to put your best foot forward. Being nasty to a service professional will not win you any points – nor should it. Try to add this one to your every day life. There is something to be said for rising above other people’s attitudes when you encounter them. And it will say a lot about you to your date if you can do so.

6. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
This goes for everything. Whether it’s using a word you don’t know or saying you love animals when you’ve been a pet-phobe since you were seven, don’t lie. If you are not you now, the truth will come out sooner or later – and where will you be then? In the land of the liars that’s where. And your pants will most certainly NOT be on fire – not in a good sense anyway!