Quiz: Confidence in Love

One of the biggest obstacles to finding true love – or even a hot date if that’s what you’re after – is a lack of self-confidence. And it’s no wonder! In a world where models grace magazine covers and everybody is expected to don designer duds (not to mention knowing a little bit about a lot of things and being able to discuss them all with ease), dating can be intimidating.

But if it’s love you’re after, you’ve got to have the chutzpah to put yourself out there. After all, hemming, hawing and staying in the corner rather than risking rejection isn’t going to lead you to the mate of your dreams.

Self-confidence is sexy – and it’s time to take it back! If you’re not sure if a lack of self-confidence is impeding your love life, then this quiz is for you. Answer the questions honestly, then score it yourself to see how you can step out of your shell and kick the love blues for good.

1. When you think about finding your perfect match do you:

a) Worry that they won’t like you (0 points)

b) Think your problems will all melt away (5 points)

c) Have a mental checklist of the 42 things they’ll have to be (or not be) (2 points)

d.) Get excited about getting to know them, not to mention getting better acquainted with yourself! (10 points)

2. Before a first date do you:

a) Plan your perfect outfit – the one where you’ll feel comfortable but also look good. You need to be yourself to find a match, right? (10 points)

b) Plan your perfect outfit – the one that shows off your assets, even if it makes you feel self-conscious. You have to look hot to find love, right? (0 points)

c) Disregard what you wear. An old t-shirt is fine, right? I mean, it’s me. (2 points)

d) Purposefully dress down, but decently. I want them to pay attention to me, not my clothes. (5 points)

3. When it comes to meeting new people I usually feel:

a) Excited. I enjoy making new friends (10 points)

b) Terrified. I prefer to stick with what I know. (0 points)

c) Eager. One of them will be the one, right? (2 points)

d) Nervous. I hope I make a good impression. (5 points)

4. If a date gives you a compliment you:

a) Blush and brush it off. (2 points)

b) Say thank you. (10 points)

c) Negate it with an explanation of why it’s untrue. (0 points)

d) Smile and say nothing – but take note and enjoy it. (10 points)

e) Expound upon why it’s SO true! (0 points)

5. When I disagree with a date on an issue that’s important to me, I…

a) Pretend to agree with them – after all, I don’t want to put them off. (0 points)

b) Say nothing and change the subject. (2 points)

c) Explain my position and listen to theirs, then agree to disagree. (10 points)

d) Yell at them – what an idiot! Who cares if they’re making a point! (0 points)

Scoring

(0-13 Points) Down in the dumps
You’re a worthwhile person whose opinions matter – but you don’t know it! In fact, when it comes to love – and probably life in general – there’s nowhere to go but up when it comes to your confidence! The good news is, you can find the courage to take charge of your life – and love yourself. For starters, it’s time for you to start seeing yourself accurately. That may mean consulting a therapist or counselor! After all, a relationship is more than a shoulder to cry on… finding happiness on your own will be the first step to sharing it with someone else!

(14-25 Points) Out of touch with your truth
Whether you’re so busy putting on a show of how great you think you are, or making lists of what you expect from your dates that are such tall orders they can never be filled, you may not even realize you’re self-sabotaging… but you are! Self-worth cannot come from any outside source. It has to emanate from within you. It’s time to get in touch with your real feelings – including your fears. You’ve got to face them (no matter how dark) to find love! If you’re good at making lists, try one about your feelings regarding love… it might give you new perspective on your true motivations, and help you to change them.

(26-39 Points) Let your heart believe your head
You feel good about yourself a lot of the time but not at a deep, core level, and it’s time to take things there! You’re steps away from attracting the kind of mate you deserve. It’s simply a matter of really internalizing what you already know about yourself, who you are and what you want. Be careful of going to extremes in one direction (meekness) or the other (being ostentatious) and take some time to get to know what you like about yourself and why… Affirmations could be a great tool for you!

(40-50 Points) Step into life… and into love!
Congratulations! Your sense of self is well developed and you’re comfortable being you. The task at hand now is to be the person you want to attract – after all, you can’t ask for anything you’re not willing to give. Do that, and you’ll find love – the right kind – when it comes into your life to stay.